Bastardo

No, this is not a hoax. Bastardo is the real name of this industrial town in southern Umbria, Italy. And it is a not inappropriate name. It has few redeeming features and is almost certainly the least attractive town in Umbria although, to be fair, there are an awful lot of stunning towns in Umbria, so the competition is rather tough.

Bastardo is a food processing centre (the area produces a lot of wheat and olive oil). It probably owes its name to an inn established by an outsider in the 17th century. Because of his outsider status locals came to call the inn the “Osteria del Bastardo", or "The Bastard's Inn." But he must have been a good innkeeper because the name stuck.

From Rome it is about two hours to Bastardo. Take the A1 Autostrada north. At Orte join the E45, direction Perugia. Leave this road at the SS316. Going north Bastardo is signposted. It is an alternative route to the SS3 via Spoleto to reach some of the main attractions of Umbria, such as Assisi, Bevagna, Trevi and Montefalco.

Ponte del Diavolo (Devil's Bridge). This is a small Roman tunnel through which a stream flows, to be found in the suburb of Gualdo Cattaneo.

Bastardo could be a convenient base for trekking, cycling or other country pursuits. The surrounding scenery is wonderful.

• Hotel Paradiso, ☏ +39 0742-99190, fax: +39 178-6018983, infoparadiso@libero.it. Via Caduti della Miniera, 5, Bastardo. €40-50 per person for Bed and Breakfast. 16 rooms 
• Agriturismo Rustichino, ☏ +39 349 0666070. A few miles out of town in the direction of Spoleto. Loc. Rustichino, 10, Giano dell'Umbria (PG). Two apartments and a room in a restored country house attached to a working farm. €45-65 per person. 

Bastardo could be considered a fairly inexpensive base for trips to a whole range of Umbrian towns. In addition to those mentioned above, interesting towns within an hour's drive include Perugia, Todi, Spello, Foligno, Deruta, and Torgiano.